So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
