proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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