You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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