So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
