my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
