you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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