your thong is hanging out like whoa
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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