he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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