I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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