the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
