beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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