just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
