Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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