I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
