I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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