We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
