I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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