If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
