she smelled like a LAN party
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
