I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
