I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
