i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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