My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
