She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
