But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i dont even know how to be here
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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