woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Pants are for mortals
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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