my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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