Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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