this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
In America we eat man semen.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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