If i come over, it means nothing
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
