YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
