$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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