I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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