She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
