I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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