I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
