the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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