Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
