How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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