I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
