I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
