I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
