today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
