The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
