That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
