just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I'm really busy with my period
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