i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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