kristin has been a bad kristin
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
