is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
