im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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