my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
this will be a night to untag.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
